So, you’re interested in this attention-thievery racket

That’s smart. To get down to brass tacks, I’ve created this handy form just for you—but you can email me or tweet me if you prefer.

So, let’s start at the beginning. Your name is , and you want to talk about:–

Say your piece. We can get into more detail later:–

In terms of a deadline…

Once I’ve had a chance to purse my lips, look thoughtful, and chomp a pipe or crayon or bit of twig or something, I’ll email you at and let you know the lay of the land.