There’s no commandment against attention-thievery
Truthfully, I am the sort of man who will probably be much better loved after he is dead. I grew up in the desert wilderness of South Africa, which gave me a fearsome temper; emigrated at the age of 12 to the jungle island of New Zealand; and now live with my ravishing but phallainophobic wife, along with an indeterminate number of children, about 30 miles southwest of Hobbiton. Our castle has a tower, a dungeon, and a shark-infested moat which I have to leap on my motorbike to make grocery runs because the drawbridge is stuck. But mostly we stay at home, hoarding air-dropped weapons and chocolate, and entertaining my pal, the man in the Hathaway shirt.
This is largely false, of course, so to make it up to you, here are seven true things about me:
- I have a certain reputation in the boroughs for being a troublemaker, on account of my work on biblical sexuality and gender roles with the infamous Michael Foster. This is the sort of thing you are better off knowing in advance—if you’re going to run for the hills holding your head and dry-heaving, it’s preferable not to find yourself doing so halfway through a project. Learn more at It’s Good To Be A Man »
- I once co-founded a marketing agency with a non-believer, and served as the Creative Director there for three years, until we discovered that Christian and non-Christian values are, in the end, incompatible. Don’t ignore 2 Corinthians 6:14; it’s not just about marriage.
- Some of the strongest influences on my work include the classic typesetting of old books and posters, wabi-sabi, vertical rhythm, my very odd wife, sprezzatura, the color red, and Teacher’s whiskey.
- As well as offering copywriting as a professional service, I also teach it to others—because all other things being equal, the best possible person to write copy for a business is actually the person most invested in, and familiar with, that business.
- I use largely open source tools in my work—including Ubuntu Linux, Visual Studio Code, and Inkscape.
- I actually do live about 30 miles southwest of Hobbiton.
- I chose to tell you seven things, not because I actually had seven things to share, but because of its significance as a number of perfection in Scripture. Since this list is now complete, there is nothing more I can say to improve upon it.
If you liked what you read here, why not get in touch to see if I can help you with your business website?
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